Date #2

Date #2

After being pleased with my first date with the fireman, I decided to give the second date a go. He let me call the shots with the first date and let me choose the place so, for the second date; I made sure to let him make the call.

Initially, we were supposed to get together around lunch time, but I ended up having to do a favor for a friend and had to bail, however, I did make it a point to let him know that I hadn’t forgotten about him and our plans and texted him. After receiving no response whatsoever via text, I gave him call. Silly me, I forgot that he was studying all day since he’s in school to be a paramedic. Of course he picked up with the quickness when he saw me calling though!

After going back and forth about what we were going to do, he finally made a decision. He decided that we were going to go to Macaroni Grill and then go to the movies.

I was kind of excited about going to the Macaroni Grill since I had never been there before AND he remembered that I had been wanting to see Paranormal Activity 4 so I was uber ecstatic! (yay for guys that pay attention!)

I sure was NOT comfortable with him picking me up at my house just yet (he does not need to know where I live just yet), so I met him at the restaurant. He was waiting outside for me (which made me a little happy on the inside especially since, if it was me, I’d be waiting on the inside at the bar, in the warmth) and gave me a big hug when he saw me. We go in and get seated and because I tend to be subconsciously observant, I noticed the server was super cute. (I know, really? Elle? I have got to do better and focus on more important things) I was super overwhelmed with all the wonderful options so when I asked the server his option, he made it a point to go through just about every single option on the menu. I have reason to believe that he was flirting with me but I tried my best to play it off and shoo him away subtly in front of my date.

I couldn’t tell you the name of what I ordered but, it was grilled something with lettuce and angel hair pasta. The conversation was great and I got a little more insight on he, and his family, and his 4 other siblings. (Why does that seem like a lot of siblings to me?) Amazingly, they all seem pretty normal. The do lots of “family like” stuff like my family do and seem to have traditions and things that they do around the holidays, which I REALLY like! 

After dinner we left and we went to the movies. I’m a nerd and I like scary movies. Not blood and gore and guts, but scary movies that give you the willies and make you want to figure out how they created the effects. I’ve seen Paranormal Activity 1-3, so seeing Paranormal Activity 4 was an absolute must! We watched it and the movie didn’t make me jump throughout the movie as the other 3, but the last 20 minutes was certainly a clincher! (Getting to jump back and squeeze his hand when I got “scared” was a super bonus too, as I also got to practice my surprised yet pleasantly scared facial expressions)

When the date ended, he walked me to my car and no way did we kiss in the mouth. I haven’t even kissed him on the cheek. A hug is sufficient at this point. I most definitely want to see him again though. He seems like he’s genuinely a good guy!  Maybe he and I could find something fun to do for Halloween? I'm definitely taking suggestions on that!

My next project is to pick a date (since I assume it will be my turn to choose), that does not involve eating but more physical activity like rock climbing or arts and crafts or something. I don’t want to break the bank though. Dating gets expensive and I think the right thing for me to do would be for me to come up with something and actually pay for it so he's not always stuck out.

What kind of date could I take us on that’s fun and different and is cost effective? Any suggestions?

Match.com Date

Remember how I talked about finally being brave enough to check out Match.com? Well, this weekend I got even more brave and even went on a date with a guy from Match.com! Even better,  he's a fireman! I've always wanted to date a fireman!

On Match, you can “wink” at someone as your way of letting them know that you’re interested, before actually attempting to send something semi-reasonable and borderline corny to their inbox. (In facebook lingo, it would be “poking” someone, but not nearly as annoying).

He winks at me, and I wink back and I muster up the balls to actually send him something that wasn’t corny (and I am corny so I’m not quite sure how what I sent, wasn't corny) . I’m pretty sure I asked him where he was from or how long he’d lived here; something that would force him to write something back to me. He writes me back and we do this back and forth game and he finally gives me his number and puts the ball in my court. (granted, if this was face to face, I’d probably be salty as he should have asked me for my number, but since email has no real tone, I didn’t think anything of it).

I had an extremely long day Saturday, but he seemed pretty together, so I texted him and we went back and forth for a couple hours and he finally got the balls to call me! ( you wouldn’t believe how I squealed like a school girl when his number popped up! You would swear I was 16 again and made everyone in the house shut up so I could sound cool!)

We chatted for a good 30 minutes to an hour and we really hit it off and seemed to have a lot in common. He really took it to the next level and asked me out to dinner! I was UBER impressed! (Since normally I’m like, uh, can we do something a little more creative instead of stuff our faces?) So we met up Saturday evening at Oddfellows (because I’m no fool, we need to be in a public place) and it was a very nice yet still casual first date.

Granted, he did not look like the picture he had posted online. The picture online was obviously a younger photo of him from college but I let him slide since my picture wasn’t exactly the most recent. He did favor his picture but older and more muscular (which I LOVED and I always wanted to date a hot fireman anyway!)  I will say though, that he got major kudos for telling me that pictures do me no justice and that I’m amazing in person.The conversation was very light and fun. We joked a lot, which I enjoyed ( I hate it when guys are too serious and don’t have a goofy side! I’m like uh… do you know who you’re talking to right now? My favorite movie is Ace Ventura: Pet Detective).

We didn’t make it a long night and he was very gentleman-ly ( is that even a word? Probably not, I bet I made it up). He pulled my chair out, opened the door for me, paid the tab etc (in short, all the things a man is supposed to do that he should not be getting credit for)  and most importantly, DID NOT GO IN FOR A KISS when he walked me to my car. (that’s nasty, mono is real. I don’t kiss folks in the mouth all willy nilly) He sooooooo would have gotten his feelings hurt if he did try that! He got a light one armed hug (because I didn’t want to press my boobies against him so he can inhale the scents that make me wonderful)  and we went our separate ways.

He texted me when he got home to make sure I got home safely (although I went to a party afterwards- but that’s another story). I appreciated the fact that he was just checking on me. We texted the next day and actually I can’t wait to go out with him again! He’s a cool dude!

Here’s the question: where should we go on our next date? He’s pretty much open to  just about anything I want to do, so I should certainly make it a good one! Any suggestions? I definitely want something interactive!

Man Type: The Name Dropper

I was at a conference recently in Houston. I noticed a guy looking at me, so it then became my personal mission to get him to talk to me.

I made sure to walk past him in my best  America’s Next Top Model walk ever, and he mumbled something inaudible to me. I passed him and acted like I didn’t hear him (in which, I really wasn’t acting since I actually did not know what on earth he said). When I came back around (since I clearly had an imaginary friend I was going to speak to since I needed a reason to walk past him), I stopped and spoke to him and he took it from there.

He was handsome. Average, well, maybe below average height for a man as I had on stilettos and he was shorter than me.  His name was Rick and he had a super deep voice. It was attractive, but it was borderline questionable as to, do you chain smoke alone at night?

He’s from Omaha, Nebraska, went to school in Houston, but currently lived in Los Angeles. ( I know, What the hell?) I couldn’t tell you what we talked about, but apparently, I intrigued him enough  for him to ask me for my phone number. I’m thinking, ok, he seems like a pretty decent guy. Someone to take me out when he’s in my city, since he made it clear that he travels a lot and would be more than happy to fly to come and see me.

The conference ends, and we go back to our own cities. We converse on the phone a few times and I kid you not, I started to feel like I was duped! Have you ever felt like you were getting someone’s representative? Like, the person that you met and the person you were talking to on the phone the first few times was not really the person that you thought they were? This is how I felt when I spoke to this guy! It was cool at first, and then wham! I get this completely different person! He turned out to be a name dropper! That is like the kiss of death!

This man could not get through a conversation without talking about a celebrity that he knew, met, or was friends with. From Paul Pierce, Ray J, Vivica Foxx, to Jay-Z. The list goes on! He swears being with those kinds of people was a part of his job and it wouldn’t be “natural” for him not to reference names. The entire time he’s explaining this, I’m thinking, what the bloody hell?! Who does that?  A normal person would not do this! When I talk about work to my friends, I’m not going to mention names of people they don’t know because they wouldn’t know who the freak I was talking about.

My thought process was, okay, we won’t talk about work. There are so many other things we can talk about. Apparently, I was wrong with that assumption as well, as he manages to weasel in references to his “celebrity” friends.

As I try to seem interested, I feel like I’m doing a piss poor job. I’m thinking, ok this will be the last time we speak, I’ll just hang in long enough until he gets tired of hearing his own voice. HA! Wrong again. He asks me on a date.

#FML

Have you ever met a guy like this? How would you handle the situation?

He likes it, so I like it, right?

To answer the headline question, Absolutely not!

I loathe seeing women, well, actually, men and women for that matter, change themselves, just because of who they may be seeing at the moment. So many times I've seen more women than men mostly, start pretending to like something, mainly because their boyfriend likes something. Basketball, football, darts, monster truck rallies, etc. Sound familiar?

I'm not for this, ever! Why should you have to pretend to like something, just because someone else does? Differences is what makes the world go around!

I will have to admit, there aren't too many things that I feel I may need to "pretend" to like, but, if there is something that I happen to not be "into", I'll make an honest attempt to take an interest in what you like, even if I need to say a little prayer before the activity takes place. Dating and relationships are about compromise right?

I'm not the biggest football fan, mainly because I don't always understand what the haites the referees are talking about half of the time, but the remainder of the times, it's actually quite intense and interesting. When hanging out with men, I'm fully aware I cannot ask random questions about the sport as to not annoy all the men in the room, but I do tend to save the more important questions for commercials and half time. Also, if watching a football game together is a means for us to spend quality time together, then I'll take it! I tend to make everything that I do fun, so it's never nearly as bad as I create it to be.

I must say, the one thing I did do that bored me stiff, was when I dated a guy that played flag football, and I had to pretend that I enjoyed it. I don't really like flag football (just because, there are too man rules of what you "can't" do to me),  but the flag football wasn't the problem. It was the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad news bears team he was a part of that irked the crap out of me. (In case you're wondering, no, this was not in college, this was grown men in their late twenties and thirties that were trying to re-live their NFL dreams via flag football). I think I have been more entertained at a 1st grade soccer game. You can imagine how excited I was when we stopped seeing each other! it was a dream come true! Ever since that debacle, I didn't do that again! Lesson learned!

Be yourself, that's always the policy for me, and if you don't like something that someone you're dating likes, it's ok! You're not going to like what everyone likes all the time.

Have you ever dated someone that you felt like you needed to pretend to like to keep them into you? Did it work out? What was the result?

Help! I'm not attracted to him!

Ever met guy that has the complete package?

How's this description for you:  Kind, considerate, sweet, goal orientated, and has a stable job. Involved in the community. Owns a large 3 story home with pool and service quarters in the backyard that he's actually renting out. Loves to travel to exotic places. Very open to trying new things. He has a great relationship with his family. Sounds like a prince right?

Too bad you have no attraction to him whatsoever!

Has this ever happened to any of you? This has happened to me  and my girlfriends one too many times. At some point I started to think that something was wrong with us!

My friend JJ, met this guy named Beal. He had everything listed in the description above. Too bad, she had no attraction to this guy whatsoever. He took her on great dates and provided good conversation. Technically, she should be in love with him, right? He liked her bunches! If only it was that cut and dry.

Although my friend JJ was having a great time with him, she knew it was going no where after about the 4th date. She did make an honest attempt to be friends with him though. I mean, a girl has to keep a plethora of social options available, right? After she slapped him into the friend zone , he decides to have a small house party. He of course invites her, and she lets the wheels start turning in her head. She thinks, he's not cute and  I have no attraction to him whatsoever, but maybe he has cute friends! Why not bring my friends to meet his friends? Smart right?!

We go the party. Cute guy friends indeed were there. I do get approached  by one, and I'm thinking yay! Go me! I go on a date with the guy, and come to realize, this guy is not nearly as cute as I thought he was! Curse the effects of meeting a guy in a dimly lit house!

The same thing that happed to my friend JJ, is the same thing that happened to me! Good qualities, good dates, good conversation, no attraction to the guy whatsoever. Now granted, this man looked at me constantly like, "Damn! How the hell did I catch her?" And I was fully aware of how he felt. I even tried to force my feelings, but it was right up there with shoving a square peg into a round hole. He got slapped into the friends zone as too.

Regardless of what anyone says, you cannot make yourself be attacted to someone. Trust me. I tried. I know JJ tried, but it just wasnt happening. You can't force it, even if you want to.

If someone offered to pay me though, I'd be really open to faking it.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever dated someone that you wanted to like really bad, but you just couldn't? Even if they really like you?

Snuggle Buddy

As the temperature dropped significantly, this past weekend, where I live, I realized how un prepared I was for winter! 

You'd think that I was referring to clothes but, no, I am not. For some people, autumn/fall/winter is known as cuffing season or the season in which a snuggle buddy is quite handy. 

Why is a snuggle buddy handy? Why can't your snuggie do the trick? Because a snuggie is not a warm body that is there to rub up against you at night and keep you warm when it's freezing outside! You'd think that of all the applicants that I had willingly applying to be in my presence  throughout the course of the summer, that I would at least have one candidate suitable for a snuggle buddy, right? WRONG.

There's an art for choosing a snuggle buddy. It more so depends on what you want. In my case, it has everything to do with what man on the planet will be willing to sleep with me, snuggle with me, somewhat assume the boyfriend role without the title, and most importantly, not attempt to do it to me.  

I know, I know, I'm asking for too much, but a girl can dream right? I mean, certainly there is  a heterosexual man out there that is willing to want to hang out with me throughout the course of the winter, without his libido in mind, right?

Needless to say, I'm stuck out right now, and packing onto my bed all the blankets I can spare since I have no one to rub my legs up against.

Any suggestions on how to revise my wants? Do you have a snuggle buddy lined up for the winter? Are you cuffed up?

Does this mean he likes me?

Normally, I’m completely oblivious when a man is flirting with me. Unless he’s getting super close to me and trying to touch me, I probably haven’t noticed at all. (and in that case, I'm probably trying to make an effort so he can't touch me at all) So, it’s pretty rare that I notice that man is liking me enough to actually want to go out with me.

There’s this guy. Anthony is his name. I met him via a mutual friend at a pool party this summer. Naturally, I over looked him, like I do most men. (Sad but true fact).  My friend introduces him to me and we strike up a conversation, in the pool. We talk and talk and talk and I happen to be my normal, well, what I think is normal but may not be normal for most, goofy self that I am. Over the course of the evening, I’m guessing that he is somewhat taking an interest in me, but I’m not certain so I just let it go.

Somehow, we exchanged numbers. I’m kind of jaded on how that happened but whatever. The point is, I got his number. A few days later, he goes on vacation with his girlfriend, that he broke up with that same week, and he comes back texting me how he wants to see me. I’m like hmmmm. Interesting. Well. for whatever reason. I don’t go BUT, I did invite him out with me and my friends a week later.

Being that I’m still unsure what exactly is running through his head, I’m flirting with him and I think he was flirting back. It’s hard to tell. He’s so calm, cool, and collected, and I’m the complete  antiphrasis of that. It was kind of difficult to tell what was happening!

Within the course of this flirting session while we were out, I happen to throw out there,” hey, I would so love to try a trapeze class and go flying through the air.” This dude says,” hey, if you find one, I’ll do it with you. “I’m thinking, yeah right! So I price the class and find one like 2-3 hours outside of town. I contact him  and he says sure! Let’s do it! Then he asks me, do you want to invite 2 other people to help on gas or do you just want it to be us?  I responded with, “not sure, I hadn’t processed it that far.”

I was a little on the surprised side since I did not have a response prepared for this question. 

What should I do? Go on the road trip alone or invite a couple friends? Does this mean he has a crush on me or what? How would you interpret it?