Same ish different day

I was cleaning up and room and was going through a lot of things that needed to be thrown away a long time ago and I came across an old notebook. It was listing my peaks and pits of my day. It only had one date listed and it was about this same date this time last year. I read it, and burst into tears. Th same thing that I'm going through now, is what I was relatively going through this time last year.

The first thing I thought was, how could I be so stupid?! This is all my fault. First time, shame on him. Second time, shame on me. Yes. I feel super upset about my part in it, but also on how I just refused to pay attention to sign a when they were all there. My emotions got caught up in everything, along with mental and physical. There's so many lessons I learned from everything.

I do still believe that I love him. Everyday I come up with something I could have done differently. Now I just have to live with my choices. At this point, I don't particularly feel like they're good choices. It is what it is though. I just hope each day gets easier.